Hilary's Tales

Birthday meals

Birthday meals

Like many other households we like to have a special meal to mark birthdays. This particular year we were on holidays in France for the other half’s birthday. We had tried our hotel but the very good restaurant was booked out. We knew that it would have been a bit much for our tastes but a birthday is a birthday and it would be nice to celebrate it.

When the actual day came around we still had not made any plans. The weather was warm and sunny and there were many good restaurants to choose from. We went for a nice long walk along the coastal path in the morning and just enjoyed being there. We passed several restaurants and all of them were possibilities for later.

Just near to the hotel there was a series of open fronted shops. They were on the beach side of the road just opposite an area of holiday rentals. There was a fruit and veg shop, a boulangerie (baker), which baked bread several times each day, and ooooh the smell . Next was a fishmonger specialising in shellfish which was cooked on site for you and also each day there would be a very large paella on the go. We thought this was most unusual for France but we would see many people queueing to purchase at meal times. And lastly there was a sweetie shop with garish coloured sweeties and soft drinks and various other contraptions which we never explored.

On this birthday stroll I was reading the signs over the shops. After a week in France my confidence had grown and I was now conversing more freely if not more accurately. I had seen ‘a emporter’ on the fish shop which means ‘take away’ but now I noticed something about eating on the terrace. Sure enough in a gap in the counter I could see a garden beyond with tables and chairs. This was our answer and we asked to have a fish lunch on the terrace. We chose our selection from the counters and we were ushered in to a simple garden terrace overlooking the sea.

Within minutes we had a bottle of a local light white wine, a bottle of water and bread on the table. Next the waiter brought us a boat, filled with ice, and all our cooked shellfish arranged on top. It looked magnificent. I have always thought that photographing one’s food is a bit naff but I could not resist this spectacle. We were also provided with a number of dangerous looking implements with which to tackle the food which we found intimidating.

The fish was spectacular and we picked, poked and prodded the shellfish until we felt we could not get another morsel of flesh from the carcasses. We had been provided with a small tin bucket into which we should put all the empty shells. From time to time the young waiter would come and empty the bucket for us and replenish the bread and mayonnaise.

By the time we had navigated through the oysters, gambas (like small lobsters), langoustines , red prawns, whelks and some large crab claws, we were very happy and feeling quite mellow. While finishing off the last of the wine and water we were visited by an insect. It was orange and black and was about two to three times larger than a bee. It had a look at us but focussed attention on the carcasses in the tin. It landed and started sawing away at a langoustine leg. While the size of this creature had got our attention we were now mesmerised by what it was doing. It sawed and sawed until it had got through the leg and then it latched on to the sliver of flesh inside the shell casing. It pulled until it had a piece of flesh over half its body length. With the flesh firmly clamped in its jaw it made two or three attempts to take off until it got the balance right and then flew off. We wondered was it taking the fish back home for lunch for the wife and kids? Was it harmless to humans or should we have been afraid?

The waiter appeared and we asked was it possible to have dessert? What would a birthday celebration be without dessert. He said he would send Madame from the next (sweetie) shop in to us. She was a short and dumpy lady who talked to herself as she walked along. She arrived and greeted us with a grumpy ‘what do you want?’ (In French of course). I opted for a concoction of ice cream, chocolate sauce and whipped cream known as Dame Blanche and himself asked for the same combination in a sweet crepe. Madame disappeared muttering to herself rather loudly about pesky foreigners. However, minutes later she appeared with wonderful versions of the desserts. We then asked her could she do a coffee and a tea. The coffee presented her with no problems but she could not get her head around the tea. So with many explanations of the kind of tea I wanted and accompanied by cold milk, she disappeared off still complaining about foreigners. The coffee turned out to be one the best that he had in France whilst I laughed so much I cannot remember what the tea was like.

And so his celebratory birthday meal was memorable this year. Sitting in a garden terrace, in the sun, in France, overlooking the sea, eating wonderful food with nice wine was sheer contentment. However……that insect.

Google research has led us to believe that the insect was an Asian Hornet and we should have been afraid. Very afraid.