My mother
My mother could never remember my name. My lawyer father had named me – my first name after the law term in which I was born and my second name after his mother. Even so , it is not as if my mother had so many choices . There were three of us , each born six years apart, and I was the youngest and the only girl. However she would run through the gamut of names from the cats to her sisters and sometimes even my brothers’ names until she would finally get to my mine. She had a real problem remembering names.
Eventually she decided to call me ‘Daughter’. And when we got to that point she never called me by my given name again. She even wrote to me as Dear Daughter. When I married and the tricky question arose as to what my husband and mother would call each other , well they easily chose ‘Son – in – law’ and ‘Mother -in – law’. These names were used with great affection for each other.
My mother was a person with a sense of humour that could catch you out. My husband’s lasting memory of her was of an event which occurred on the morning of my parents’ golden wedding anniversary. We were staying with my parents helping to get everything ready for the party. Myself, husband, toddler and baby. It was breakfast time and we sat at the round table . It was a polished table with individual linen place mats on which were china and cutlery place settings. The other half sat between the baby and toddler helping both as necessary. My mother was passing by and she reached in and yanked his placemat away leaving his place setting, complete with cornflakes, in place. The look on his face with his spoon half way to his mouth was priceless. She told us that she had always wanted to try this magician’s trick just to see if it worked. I rather fancy that my husband always kept one hand on his placemat after that.
She was a person of quiet faith . I once asked her if she stayed awake and worried when I was out at night during the teenage and young adult years. She said that in her going to sleep prayers she would hand me over to God. She maintained that He would be awake during the night and there was no point in them both worrying. I did try this when my own children went through this phase of their lives but I never achieved the same serenity and I kept vigil with The Lord until the children were safely back home in their beds.
My mother went to her eternal reward over a quarter of a century ago. Like many children with a close relationship with a parent I miss her still, and have trotted out many of her sayings. She has not been around while I raised my children but she has been my role model. I think missing out on my children will have been her big regret and I am sure she will have made this point over and over again to What’s-His-Name in Heaven.