Most people have some kind of wedding drama on their big day. Some are minor incidents and are forgotten almost immediately or are overwhelmed by all the great things that happen on the day. Others, have a big drama , which may colour the day or even the marriage.
Our drama? Well a priest stopped our wedding in the middle of the service.
Where to begin? Well himself and myself are what is quaintly known in Ireland as a mixed marriage. In other countries this means an inter-racial marriage , or an inter faith marriage. In Ireland it is an inter-denominational marriage and the only thing mixed about it is that he is male and I am female. So to continue the story, we had two priests at the wedding service. For my side we had the Rector from my parish, and from his side his uncle (and godfather)who was a Jesuit priest. There were no objections, or reservations on either side of the families and the wedding was planned as a great celebration by us all.
The service got under way. We are conservative in nature so we had opted for the old form of the Church of Ireland wedding service. When the Rector asked if anyone knew of a reason why we should not be married there was silence. And so we continued on to the vows. We had gone through them in the rehearsal so we were confident and relaxed. And when we got to me saying my vows I promised to love, honour and obey. Well Uncle Mike, who until then had been beaming at us in his well known way suddenly jerked to attention. He walked over to the Rector and interrupted the service. He wanted a little private consultation. The two clergy walked a few steps away and had some words. Uncle Mike was heard to say -oh she did agree – and they walked back to us. He smiled and said – carry on, carry on.
So a little bemused we did carry on with Uncle Mike smiling his encouragement. We got to the ring part. Yes, the best man had remembered the ring. As instructed at the rehearsal he placed the ring on the Rector’s prayer book. In his nervousness he placed the ring on the top corner edge of the open book. It did not look secure. The Rector paid little attention to the ring and he did not move it to a safer spot. Now to realise the significance of this I have to tell you that we were standing on an open heating grill. It was a very ornate grill in keeping with the church but it was an open grill. The Rector continued with the service and we noticed that as he spoke he was swaying slightly. So the wedding party starting swaying in unison with him with our eyes glued to the precarious ring. So when it got to the part where himself was to place the ring on my finger he fairly pounced on the Rector’s prayer book. The relief when we were declared husband and wife! And despite these dramas, husband and wife we have been for the past 38 years.
I asked a friend from the congregation had she noticed the goings on during the service . She said not. The only thing that she had noticed was one of the two flower girls standing behind us, had been rummaging unsuccessfully for a handkerchief. Her sister, the other flower girl did not have one either. So she solved the problem by lifting the skirt of her long dress and blowing her nose in the hem.
So what was Uncle Mike’s reason for stoping the service? He wanted to be sure that it was my choice to include the promise to obey my then future husband. In the preparation for the marriage this topic had come up for discussion and we had decided our position on it. In the vows himself promised that he would endow me with all his worldly goods. So when I feel that I get a decent endowment , he will get the obedience. Seems fair enough!